After all this time?

Fucked up home life level 10


He waited until the train was in motion to make his move—a true sign of someone who knows how to make the environment work to their advantage. Then he leaned forward. “Hi.” “How you doing?” “What are you reading?” “What’s your name?” “I really like your hair.” “That’s a really nice skirt.” “You must work out.”

It was painful to watch. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him, and he clearly wasn’t going to take the hint. Her rebukes got firmer. “I’d like to read my book.” And he pulled out the social pressure. “Hey, I’m just asking you a question. You don’t have to be so rude.” She started to look around for outs. Her head swiveled from one exit to another.

The thing was, I had already heard this story, many many times. I knew how it would play out. I knew all the tropes. I probably could have quoted the lines before they said them. I wanted a new narrative. Time to mix it up.

So I moved seats until I was sitting behind him. I leaned forward with my head on the back of his seat.

"Hi," I said with a little smile.

He looked at me like I was a little crazy—which isn’t exactly untrue—and turned back to her.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

"I’m fine," he said flatly without ever looking back.

"I really like your hair," I said. “It looks soft."

That’s about when it got…..weird.

He sort of half turned and glared back me, and I could tell I was pissing him off. His eyes told me to back the hell away, and his lips were pressed together tightly enough to drain the color from them completely.

But no good story ever ends with the conflict just defusing. He started to turn back to her.

"Wait, don’t be like that," I said. “Lemmie just ask you one question…"

"What!" he said in that you-have-clearly-gone-too-far voice that is part of the freshmen year finals at the school of machismo.

And I’m not exactly a hundred percent sure why I didn’t call it a day at that point, but…..maybe I just love turning the screw to see what happens. I gave him the bedroomy-est eyes I could muster. “What’s your name?”

Right now I’m sitting here typing out this story, and I’m still not entirely sure why I’m not nursing a fat lip or a black eye. Because that obviously made him so mad that I still am not sure why it didn’t come to blows. There are cliches about eyes flaring and rage behind someones eyes and shit like that that are so overdone. But it really does look like that. When someone gets violent, their eyes just kind of “pop” with intention—pupils dilate, eyelids widen. And his did. Even sitting down he was clearly bigger than me and I was pretty sure he was kind of muscular too, so at that moment I was figuring I was probably going to need an ice pack and sympathy sex from my girlfriend by day’s end.

"DUDE," he shouted. “I’M NOT GAY."

That’s when I dropped the bedroom eyes and switched to a normal voice. “Oh well I could see not being interested didn’t matter to you when you were hitting on her, so I just thought that’s how you rolled.”


Writing About Writing (And Occasionally Some Writing): Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative (via veruca-assault)

instant reblog

(via koi-ms)

never hit that reblog so fast in my life. 

(via trikcst3r)

2 days ago with 108,480 notes — via iamgreenbean, © veruca-assault


Puppy growing up, no hesitation on the second jump. [video]


Puppy growing up, no hesitation on the second jump. [video]

2 days ago with 370,067 notes — via toocooltobehipster, ©

2 days ago with 17,546 notes — via theawkwardterrier, © hxcfairy


that’s it. that’s the whole show

2 days ago with 68,139 notes — via sagihairius, © iwishihadafather

The Best April Fools’ Prank (That I Shall Ever Do)



Once upon a time, I decided that it was my solemn obligation to prank my friends before we graduated.


So…I made Hogwarts Acceptance letters. A lot of them. Because who isn’t still waiting for their freaking letter to arrive?





My hand hated me so much. Also, cursive G is the worst.


Letters were posted. All was well.

Until this happened…


What the-?





This is literally the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

2 days ago with 245,532 notes — via annabanana90, © justatiltedlamp

2 days ago with 331,473 notes — via stay-ocean-minded, © juiceboxlieny

I always feel guilty looking at a person’s pictures from middle school, bc I know how much they probably regret that phase





One of the best out takes from any television show, ever. 


This man is a guardian of the galaxy

you can just see the split second where everyone is processing what he said

4 days ago with 459,973 notes — via lowbrr, © prekrasnoe-mngnovenie

a story of friendship


human: :(

dog: :D

human: :D

4 days ago with 144,879 notes — via forever-and-alwayss, © amoying

New Who Doctors in their previous regeneration’s clothes

4 days ago with 34,769 notes — via murphels, © themostimpassionedsong

4 days ago with 1,045,672 notes — via corporateaccount, © celadonlonghorn


seems legit


seems legit

4 days ago with 22,322 notes — via fatpeoplemakemehappy, © lizclimo


i take my hedgehog grocery shopping and nobody tells me to stop


i take my hedgehog grocery shopping and nobody tells me to stop

5 days ago with 278,469 notes — via stay-ocean-minded, © seri0uslybecca

6 days ago with 119,179 notes — via okaybut-i, © comicshans